Fantastic Life

Yesterday morning, two friends and I were discussing how much I feel like a dud these days. It has to do with me not working (outside the house, that is). And, the truth is, I really do want to be a stay-at-home-mom, and it's not really about staying at home with my boys. It's the fear that I won't be able to do anymore than what I'm doing now someday. This feeling has come and gone many times since Vincent was born. I struggle with it, because I hear of how difficult it is for people with no gaps in their resume trying to find a job. Or, how I should try to do something, even volunteering, to put on my resume. When do I do all this? I barely get a break to go sit and do nothing. By the time I am ready to go back to work, even on a part-time basis, years and years will have passed. Will I be able to do anything? And, really, isn't it enough to be the General Manager of our Hunt Household? 

Just as we were having this discussion, I received a text message from another friend, commenting on this blog, and my "fantastic life." My initial reaction was, "Fantastic? How about boring?" 

Truth is, I'm not bored. And, not because I'm busy chasing little boys around, trying to get them dressed, or brush their teeth, or getting them to use the potty, etc. There's the day-to-day busy work of being a mom that keeps me from being bored, but there's the simple fact that I'm enjoying my children and having fun with them. So, I guess I say, "boring" because I blog daily as a way to keep track of things I don't want to forget next year, or next week, or even tomorrow. There isn't a whole lot here that's superstar exciting to many people. The pictures are for the family and friends who love seeing the boys grow. And, I don't detail the major challenges we have each day. 

I should thank my friend (Thanks. You know who you are.), for pointing out my fantastic life. And, I thank those two friends and their insight on all this. Because, when I step back and look at the whole picture, it truly is a fantastic life. I'm not saying I'm just going to stop feeling like a dud with a snap of my fingers. I just think, like it has in the past, this feeling will subside, and allow me to just be.